I became what I couldn’t find… my road to becoming a guide

I never talked about this but it feels important to bring it to light now.

When I was in grad school we had to go to therapy. Makes sense right?! Do the thing, receive what you are going to offer. Walk in the shoes of the client, sit in this space fully. Do the thing, understand it.

That is how we embody something to truly feel it and experience it. It was harder than I thought to find what I needed.

I knew that entering into the process of becoming of therapist would require me to walk through my own journey of healing. I never thought I would have so much trouble finding someone that could sit with me. 

What I didn’t know is how hard it would be to find someone that could sit with me. To sit with the pain and be in the space when I finally used my voice to share my experiences.

And this is not about me saying that anyone failed me it is sharing my process and that everyones process of finding their person or their team of support can be hard. And also to say a part of me understanding my journey was understanding my purpose, the purpose of my energy and energetic field… what it came to do was integral to the process.

Struggling to find my voice even though I could argue and yell with the best of them was hard. Finding someone that could hear me and see me was even though my body often grew in size because it felt unworthy and loved and protection and felt invisible. That who I cam e here to be was to challenge others and often left me feeling abandoned and alone. But most of all I couldn’t see what everyone else could see and needed someone that could consciously, compassionately, and directly reflect who I was, because my experience of adoption, my experience in the world was that I was too much, my feelings were too much and for many people after all I held inside what I had to share and the emotion was indeed too much. 

For my family, friends, professionals, intuitive, energy workers, and many others that I have asked to help me heal. I know now so much of that was on me but for someone with my experiences what I also understand is I was walking around not being able to see myself… the wound was deep, it was wide, and I was very high functioning for someone in this space.

I know now that I am not for everyone and never will be. But also what I know is that 

I am unique but not different from everyone. 

I am strong but it is ok to not be ok.

I am capable but I do not have to handle everything.

I am human and it is ok to be angry, sad, and experience joy.

I am powerful but sometimes in the night I can’t sleep because I question my abilities.

I am a woman who has lived most of her life feeling alone but I have never been alone.

I have a heart that in many ways loves and supports but has trouble receiving and being open.

And that ends now. I am so worthy of the love I want. 

I am so worthy of being seen and heard.

I am exactly who I’m supposed to be now…

No matter my appearance, how much money I have in the bank, how many followers or friends I have, or if I have a partner or not. I am enough. I always have been enough. And I let go of all situations, versions of myself, and those that could not see me or sit with me.

I am not alone and you are not alone either. All of these experiences in the last several decades have prepared me to be what I could not find. To sit with the hard, gut wrenching emotions, the tough conversations, and to be the catalyst for change in the world but most importantly in your life. I am here to use all of the pain, experiences, and wisdom I have gained to be of service to those that want to liberate themselves from the feeling broken to feeling alive. To live with your heart fully open and be surrounded by a community that sees you, hears you, believes you, and most importantly loves you.

When you can’t find support, you walk through the fire, you become what you can’t find. I did this so you won’t have to. I am here. I am loud. I am proud. I created this a space for you to be, heal, and become who you are meant to be in this life, to remember.

xx Amy

If you are looking for energy healing, therapeutic space and guidance, or you arent quite sure check out my offerigs or schedule a call. I’m here.